Today’s Thoughtful Tuesday post is late and also not an audio, because my voice is giving out, and I still have ceremonies to deliver this week.
We are here to learn, and there have been a lot of red flags and learning moments in the last few years. All part of a great reset, according to the wise souls on our planet. An awakening for mankind.
In our teeny tiny part of Wales, we have been busy, and I have been making mistakes. Not earth-shattering ones, and no one has been hurt, but mistakes nonetheless. I always say ‘Sorry’ immediately. No excuses, but a heartfelt ‘Sorry’. Sometimes, if it’s in person, there is a pause, and I look into the questioning eyes of someone opposite me, and I’ll offer an explanation. Always adding the rider that it is not an excuse!
I was told I was lovely today, and my response is telling. The kind soul who uttered those words was looking into a gift bag I had made for my family at today’s service. I replied by telling her about a gift bag where I made a mistake on someone’s name. She looked at me and said, ‘That doesn’t stop you being lovely.’ I blushed and went silent.
I spend an extraordinary amount of time mentally beating myself up, and when I am given a compliment, I catch myself batting it back by sharing a mistake I have recently made!
Our world has become squashed under a huge layer of judgment. From the brief glimpses I catch of the news and social media, people are being pigeon-holed, labelled and judged. The energy is unkind.
This energy is flowing around us all, no matter how kind we try to be, and for those who are sensitive, it can cause ripples in our internal chatter. We are hard-wired for our brains to keep us safe when we make a mistake. It is genetically programmed from caveman days, when we needed to be kept safe from predators. If something goes wrong in our view, our brains will start supplying other similar instances, and these memories pile onto any feelings of shame already sparked by what has just happened.
Stilling our internal chatter is a skill, and one well worth learning.
I am still learning.
A loving family member had the courage and bravery to stand up and share a heartfelt tribute to her special Mum today. She was fantastic, and we all applauded her. As we hugged outside the chapel, she whispered an apology after I had congratulated her. I wasn’t even aware of the instance where she felt she had made a mistake, and it truly didn’t matter. Look at what she had just achieved. A final loving act for her Mum, which she’d knocked out of the park. I hugged her again.
This wonderful lady created a loving send-off for her special Mum. She has organised everything and looked after everybody else in her family who is struggling. I know her loving care will continue. Everything was woven with love, and we were blessed with a kind funeral director and his team and a kind chapel attendant. It was all about love. 🩷
We are all human. 🩷
We so often are so ready to pull ourselves down when we notice our own little mistakes, while we are the first to praise others and help them feel better about themselves over theirs..
It is a trait I too am guilty of, stemming from the childhood feeling of not being worthy of praise.
Indeed Jane, we are all of us still learning, and without our little mistakes, in all of life's experiences, we would not learn and grow...
Learning to Let our own self judgement go, and forgive and love ourselves, has to be one we find the hardest in mastering...
But we are learning.... As we learn to LOVE, and share that love..
I loved your post dear Jane, and my catch up here with you this evening..
Much LOVE to you my friend... And as my 'guide' once said to me, " There are no mistakes in life, just choices".. :-)
Much love xx 💖🙏
I can relate to 'beating yourself up' Jane, but as I get older, I give myself more grace. As you said, we are all human. My son tells me to not overthink things (which he probably got from me) and my daughter reminds all of us to give ourselves grace when we need it. Lovely post and reminder, dear friend. Sending hugs and lots of love to you and Tim. You are a beautiful friend! xoxoxoxoxo