Garden of Life

Tim gifted me a pair of earrings a few years ago, little oval glass balls with dandelion seeds inside. I call them my ‘Hopes, dreams and wishes’ earrings and wear them often.

While I am recovering from mouth surgery, I have been trying to rest. Discovering that it’s tricky to allow myself to pause and take some time out. I have been making a few gifts and spending time creating with a few new projects that I have on the back burner. So, not resting enough as it turns out!

Yesterday, the car needed to go into the garage for routine maintenance, and I dropped her off and walked back along the disused railway track, which runs behind our home, to the little lakes from the old mine. When I reached the lakes, I realised I’d walked past the steps to our home, so I doubled back. A lady dog walker asked if I was alright. I didn’t go into detail; I just replied that I’d walked past the steps I needed to go home. She pointed out which roads were on either side of our track, and it dawned on me that I’d lost my bearings. We paused for a bit and chatted about her dog, as we watched her rooting through the undergrowth on a mass sniffing spree.

It’s beautiful in there. The rails have long been lifted, and the trees and shrubs have grown to make a natural canopy, and all you can hear is the birds. We wished each other well, and I followed her kind directions and went home. Later, Tim drove me in the van to collect the car, I ran some errands, and when I returned home, he insisted I stop.

I was asked to take a funeral service for a member of our work family, who is facing a family bereavement. We are a team that encompasses a number of funeral director firms and chapels across a city, and we are all close, as we work together often and help each other out whenever we can. My instinct was to say ‘Yes’. To be there for her and her family. Then I remembered to pause. I thought about the family visits, travelling, writing, and delivering the ceremony, all during the time I am supposed to be taking time out to recover. It was hard, but I said, ‘No. I am so sorry, but I can’t’. I will still be in touch and support where I can, but I can’t show up in person over the next few weeks.

When the seed for a service is planted, it takes much nurturing from the whole team to look after the deceased and to show loving care to those who are grieving. It can’t be measured in time.

We plant seeds in our lives every day, and with the state of the world, there is pressure to keep going. To keep nurturing them. It makes it hard to stop.

I haven’t been able to get outside to weed, but I am sure that amidst the weeds in our garden, the plants are thriving and will continue to do so till I am well enough to get back out there again.

Before my op, I completed the first of a series of digital journals I am making. I have designed them so they can be printed or written on digitally through an app., such as Goodnotes, Notability and Noteshelf. Your Comfort Journal is available online (link below). A seed in our garden of life, that will hopefully bring comfort to others, as I learn to take things at a gentler pace.

Maybe when we step forward to help others, we also learn how to take better care of ourselves. 🩷