Love For Today

I remember my Great Granny Thorne’s embroidery, and her daughter, my Granny Jean, inherited her mother’s needlework skills.

As a child, my Granny Sturgeon and Granny Jean, along with my Great Granny Thorne and my Mum, would gather and sit knitting, crocheting, embroidering or sewing and my sister and I soaked up their love of handicrafts. More than that, those times gifted us with an appreciation for slowing down, spending time together with our loved ones, and making things. Usually gifts which pass through our hands, with love in every stitch, to those we care about.

I make cakes, a favourite being my Mum’s moist fruit cake, and gift these to all the families I go out to meet. You know how you always take something when you go to visit family, and invariably, bring something home? Love flows between our homes. I am always mindful that I start as a stranger to those who are grieving and facing a terribly difficult time, so to walk through their front door with some homemade cake is like taking love from our home to theirs.

I have crossed paths with a kind man who runs a small business, and I buy his little cake cases. They are like tiny loaf tins in sturdy paper, and make my cakes look professional. I can bake with his cases and then easily wrap them up to gift the cakes.

We are all facing tricky times, some way more than others, and never have we needed each other more. Yet in this world, we are being pitted against each other, and each of us is battling with feelings that leave us wanting to retreat.

In order to show care to others, we first need to care for ourselves, and I feel we may have lost our way on how we care for ourselves.

I sat with a family yesterday evening, and I was asked what happened as I wrote life stories for loved ones.

I started by saying that it all comes from love.

I can feel the loving energy as I weave their memories and details into a story that honours their loved one who have passed away. I can ‘hear’ their voices in my heart as I write, and it is a privilege to see the heaviness they are carrying lift, just for a little while, as they laugh and share the memories that are now becoming treasures to them.

It is a privilege to stand with them and honour their loved one.

In all the hustle and bustle and flowing care to others, my body has started sending strong signals that I have been putting myself at the back of the line. Yesterday afternoon, Tim put me to bed, covered me up in handmade throws, pulled the blinds down, and quietly closed the door, with the gentle suggestion that I take a nap.

When I awoke and returned to my desk, I saw these words.

I don’t have to stop giving. I need to begin by remembering I am part of the circle of care.

“You are not here just to do stuff, just to perform duties and complete tasks. You are here also to feel happy, and content, and inspired and well within yourself. You are here to have some fun, create meaningful moments and find the sparkle in your eyes again. You are here to unravel the magic of being alive, the magic of being you. To heal, to feel whole again. You are worth the effort.” - S.C. Lourie

It all starts with love. Lately, I have found myself wishing my time away till there is a break for a few days towards the end of this month.

From love;

I do not want to wish my time away.

I need to remind myself to slow down.

Not to swallow others’ stress or deadlines down whole. I don’t have to be the fixer.

To take time to walk. Just that, nothing else. To simply walk.

To breathe and watch the birds at our feeders in the hedge.

To stay in a soothing bath for as long as I wish to.

To pull warm socks on.

Yesterday afternoon, I dived under our Christmas tree and liberated a present from a loving friend, because I knew it contained different packets to make hot chocolate. That hot drink was just what I needed, and I know she will understand.

Each day till the end of this year, calls for love. A circle of care I include myself in.

Still giving, still loving, yet nurturing balance.